Keeping Mentally Healthy: Self-Care Tips

There are lots of things you can do to look after your mental health and strengthen your resilience. Try these tips:

Look after your body. Physical exercise is not only good for your physical health – it released hormones that make us feel good and get rid of any stress in our bodies. When we are physically strong and fit it also gives us the physical and mental energy to deal with difficult situations.

Stay active Aim to be active at least 60 minutes every day. You don’t have to do that at once, but can break the activities throughout the day to reach your goal. If you can go out, try walking, running, cycling or other sports - even if you don’t always exercise hard, being among nature is proven to be good for our mental health.

• If you can’t exercise outdoors try dancing, stretching or other exercises – even helping with the housework can be good for the body! Exercising or being active with a friend will increase your likelihood of doing it – try and find an activity you can do with someone you trust!
• Eat well Choose healthy foods whenever possible.
• Sleep Try to maintain proper sleep routine every night. Aim for at least 8 hours – ideally 9!
• Look after your appearance Even if you are having bad day and don’t feel like it, have a wash, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and get dressed.
• Learn and practice deep Breathing – use this LINK to find out how

It is important to understand how you feel. During adolescence it is normal to feel a range of emotions, have mood swings, feel sad, frustrated, excited, in love …. Try to get into the habit of recognizing and naming your feelings, especially if they start to feel overwhelming or stop you from having fun. Sometimes it may be helpful to write down your feelings to describe them. The more we become aware of our feelings, the more chance we have of controlling them – and stop them controlling us!

The way that we think about situations affects the way we feel. When we only focus on the negative, we feel bad. When we feel bad, we can then only see the negative side of things. It a vicious cycle!

It’s not normal to be positive 100% of the time but if we make an effort to look for the good, our negative feelings will decrease, and we will find ways to cope and the solutions to our problems.

Positive thinking exercise

Try this exercise to get into the habit of thinking more positively about what went well and why. People who think positively say they feel happier, less anxious and less sad. Spend 10 to 15 minutes before going to bed each day to think and write down the reasons why things are going well. Try to identify at least 3. It may be as simple as: "This morning, my teacher praised me”, “my friend showed they care”, or an important event: "I passed the exam!" For everything that has gone well, try and identify and write down what contributed to making it a success – and remember to recognise to congratulate yourself for all the efforts you made!!

Tell yourself that it’s OK to feel how you feel, to have good and bad days, to make mistakes and not be perfect. Don’t put pressure on yourself to always "be the best". When you experience difficult emotions, be kind to yourself, don’t use negative words to describe yourself. Use ‘positive self-talk’, such as: "I am finding this difficult right now, and that’s OK because I am dealing within it and it will change”, “It’s OK for me to feel sad when something bad happens, it’s a normal reaction”. Remember your strengths and previous successes to get through the difficult times (if you have done the positive thinking exercise this will be easier to do 😊).

Also being kind to others has been found to make us happier people. Helping others, giving compliments or a generous act boosts our mental health. Likewise, when we experience and practice ‘gratitude’ – recognizing the acts of goodness and kindness shown to us by others and feel thankful for it, it helps our mental and physical health!

When you are having difficult feelings, it is important to find a healthy way to take care of yourself. Avoid the temptation to drink alcohol, smoke tobacco or marijuana, eat too much, hide yourself away from friends and family or get involved in dangerous relationships and activities. These activities will add to your problems, not solve them.

Keep in touch with family and friends as much as possible. When we feel bad, we often want to hide away from other people, but this is not a good idea. Instead try and make sure you spend time with the RIGHT people, those who support you and you trust. Make sure to check in with them often. Even if you don’t want to say much, being in the company of people we like and trust and doing an activity together helps our mental health. Use social media, email, phone, or write a letter. When you can't find a connection, think about the time you spent together.

ACTIVITY: Think about five people in your life right now. How do they make you think about yourself? How do you feel about them? Think about who among them always makes you feel better when you see them or the ones you have most fun with. People play different roles in our lives, some we have fun or play sports with, others we want to confide in, others maybe the one who can help us with our schoolwork. Try and work out who you have in your support network.

Problems can grow bigger in our minds, especially when we ignore them. As they grow bigger, we begin to feel less able to cope with them and this then affects the way we feel. We must face our problems.

If you are facing a problem and don’t know how to solve it, try these simple steps;

1) Write the problem down Be as specific and brief as possible.

2) Brainstorm First, think of as many possible solutions to the problem as they can. Do not worry if the solutions are good or bad at this stage. Then, think of what you do by yourself and also people who can help you.

(tip: If you having difficulty coming up with solutions, consider what you would say to a friend if they asked you for advice)

3) Decide and choose helpful strategies From the list of potential solutions, choose those that are most helpful in dealing with the problem.

(tip: the best/most helpful strategies are usually the ones that you are able to do with the resources you have available and have very few disadvantages for you and others)

4) Action plan Develop a plan for how and when you will carry out the solution(s); pick the day and time when you can do this. Write the plan down.

(tip: telling a friend of family member about your plan will increase the chances of you carrying it out!)

5) Review Think about what did and what affect this had on the original problem, if it did not work not try to understand why. Go back to your original list of solutions and see if there is another thing you can try.

CONGRATULATE yourself whether successful or not on positively attempting to solve the problem!

Some problems need specialist advice. Check out our Help and Resources section below

Need help and advice on how to deal with bullies and bullying – click HERE

Coping with difficult feelings, stress, fear or sadness alone is not always easy. Sometimes despite following all this advice and self-care tips, our feelings can overwhelm us. We can end up feeling depressed or desperate. We may stop doing the things we usually enjoy and feel completely able to cope with everyday life and possibly have thoughts about hurting ourselves, or that life is no longer worth living. These thoughts are not uncommon, and you should not be ashamed of experiencing them but if you find yourself thinking this way, it is important that you seek help and talk to someone you can trust. If you do not have anyone to talk to then find services near you that can help.

Worrying and getting upset from time to time is part of life. Learning skills that can help us to manage our emotions and feelings including how to calm down when we become scared anxious, stressed or or nervous is a good ‘life skill’ and ‘coping mechanism’. There are many ways people have found to calm down and relax but one of the easiest, simplest and quickest ways is to take some deep breaths.

Breathe, deeply.

Deep breathing is the best and most effective technique for reducing feelings of anger, stress and anxiety. Slowing down our breathing can help our body relax, which leads to us feeling calmer and able to cope better. If you are feeling like your emotions are taking over, try this simple breathing technique to help you calm down.

First, count to 10 (or 100) to get yourself together.

Sit up tall with both feet flat on the floor or lie down, take one deep, slow breath

Now take a few breaths like this.

• Place your hands on your stomach like in the picture.
• Close your lips
• Breathe in through your nose and try pull air down into your stomach where your hands are. (if you can’t breath in comfortably through your nose, its OK to breath through your mouth instead!)
• Breathe in for four counts, hold your breath for four counts, breathe out for four counts and hold for 4 counts. Then start again.
• Don’t count too quick! If four counts are difficult for you, that’s OK, just try with three to start with and try and build up with more practice
• As you breath in and out also watch your hands on your stomach move up and down slightly – this shows you that you are doing it correctly.
• Try to do this for at least one minute.

After a minute or so of deep breathing. Close your eyes and picture yourself calm. See your body relaxed, and imagine yourself working through a stressful or anxiety-causing situation by staying calm and focused.

Tip: Practice these techniques when you are not stressed out or worried so you know how to do them when you’re feeling stressed or anxious. You can also do these breathing exercises while lying down on your back, on your stomach or in a standing position, even on the bus or in the classroom! Keep practicing to find the best position for yourself.

When feeling bad, tell yourself “I’m trying to learn to cope when I’m feeling bad, so I can have strength to face difficult situations, I am proud of myself.” Then use your breathing technique to take control of yourself and your emotions